Have you ever found yourself into someone you wouldn’t usually be into? You’re lowkey in denial, because on paper they’re not your type. Yet somehow, they’re on your mind more than they should be.
Sometimes it’s confusing because nothing happened to make you so drawn to them. There wasn’t a moment but you’re suddenly aware of them. You notice when they’re around, and when they’re not. If you’re being honest, you’re not even sure you’d feel this way if you met them somewhere else, in a different context, at a different time.
Think about when you see someone your age at the airport. You’re automatically drawn to them because you’re at the airport and they are your age. That’s all you need. Suddenly, you hope you’re on the same flight, checking where they sit and getting excited that they exist.
There’s actually a name for this feeling: proximity attraction.
As Tim Cole, a communication studies associate professor at DePaul, explains: “From a communication studies perspective, proximity refers to the simple but powerful idea that being physically or socially near someone can increase the likelihood of attraction. When people share the same environment — like a residence hall, classroom, workplace or social circle — they have more opportunities for repeated interaction. Those repeated encounters build familiarity, and familiarity tends to feel comfortable and safe.”
It’s not just that they exist in your presence — it’s that you keep noticing them there. And the thing is … noticing someone, again and again, can possibly turn into something real.
That’s where physical spaces and everyday interaction start to shape proximity attraction. The more you see someone, the more opportunities you have to interact with them — and the more natural that connection begins to feel. Being in the same spaces creates shared experiences, whether that’s taking the same classes, following the same routines or bonding over something as small as a long coffee line.
As Cole explains, proximity lowers the barriers to connection. It’s simply easier to start conversations, spend time together and build familiarity with people who are already part of your daily environment. Over time, those small, convenient interactions add up, turning familiarity into comfort and comfort into attraction.
And honestly, we underestimate how powerful those everyday interactions are.
The more you talk to someone, the more you bond. It’s really that simple. Sometimes it’s just a smile in passing, a quick “hi,” a wave across the room, a casual dab up. Small, low-stakes interactions can feel meaningful. My best friends can attest to me replaying a three-minute interaction with a guy for hours like it was a scene straight out of a movie. Because, in a way, it is. Those little interactions turn into stories, and suddenly the smallest everyday moments become something to look forward to.
Thoraia Hussein, a second-year BFA Film and Television student at DePaul, reflects on this phenomenon: “Being surrounded by the same people all the time involved interactions as minor as saying hi to each other. I noticed that I was way more likely to become close to people platonically or romantically in these environments. I believe Attraction Theory even covers this as a factor in how we form relationships.”
So what’s actually doing the work here? Is it the proximity itself or the fact that being in the same space gives you more chances to talk?
I’d argue it’s both.
Sometimes just sharing a space is enough. The tension of always being in the same room. The accidental eye contact. The “why do we keep ending up next to each other?” energy. That alone can feel exciting.
But proximity also creates opportunity. When you’re in the same classroom, the same office, the same routine, you don’t have to try that hard to talk to one another. You complain about the same deadline. You laugh about the same awkward moment. You exist in the same little world.
Proximity doesn’t do the work alone, it’s not just about being near each other anymore. It’s about interacting and letting the small moments stack up until they start to mean something.
Workplace situationships are probably the most common — at least from what I’ve seen (and experienced). You’re with the same people for hours, with the same customers getting on your nerves. It’s an opportunity for continuous interaction because you’re in it together.
Proximity attraction shows up strongest with coworkers, though it can happen in classes or even when people live in the same building. I’ve seen relationships start just because two people were continuously scheduled together or lived across the hall from each other.
Convenience does in fact matter. The more time, attention and energy you spend with someone, the more likely something is going to build. Relying on each other, problem-solving together, helping each other out, venting only speeds up the process.
As Cole notes, repeated interaction, shared problem-solving and small personal disclosures can “create feelings of familiarity, trust and closeness that start to resemble personal connection rather than strictly professional interaction.”
And honestly, that’s exactly what it feels like when you’re working with someone every day. The lines between professionalism and being yourself start to blur. You start laughing at the same things, checking in on each other, noticing the little habits that make them… them.
Those small, repeated moments stack up. And before you know it, that coworker is more than just a coworker.
Sometimes attraction starts because someone is just there. That’s situational attraction. It’s convenient and exciting. But it’s tied to the situation, once you’re not sharing the same space, it might fade. Think about it like a dating app: would you have swiped right or left if you’d seen them? Maybe you wouldn’t have. But because they’re around, you notice the little things they do, laugh at the same moments, and somehow they’re on your mind more than you expected.
Whereas genuine compatibility is more real than situational attraction. It’s liking someone for them — not just because it’s easy or convenient. It’s noticing the little things they do that make you smile, the way your conversations just flow, how you can be completely yourself around them without it mattering where you are. It’s the kind of connection that doesn’t need a reason to exist.
Samantha Carey, a junior with a BFA in Film and Television at DePaul, describes her own experience: “I have definitely experienced the illusion of having a crush purely because we were around each other A LOT. I used to be in a class with this one guy who I was sure we had something. Then when I actually sat down and had a conversation with him, he was so odd and we did not click at all. I think genuine relationships and connections are based on good conversation and not based on some idealized version of a person you create because you see them a lot rather than talking to them a lot.”
That being said, proximity attraction can definitely turn into something real. Being around someone gives you the chance to notice how they actually are — how they treat people, what makes them laugh, the little quirks that don’t show up on the surface. You start to see whether you really click, beyond just the convenience of being in the same space. If the bond stays strong even when you’re no longer sharing a class, office or routine, that’s a sign it’s genuine.
Header Image by Noemi Romero
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