Did You Know? How Chisme Feeds the Soul

Through whispers and laughs, chisme creates a space where people feel seen, heard and connected. 

The sound of the crickets grows louder. The night’s chill has begun to make us shiver. While the night grows, we can’t help but stay and listen to the conversation in front of us. Dramatic gasps and laughs come from our mothers across the table. We sip on our atole to keep us warm, remaining in a trance as we listen and observe the town’s gossip unfolding.

“¡Y la dejo!” One of my aunts dramatically gasps as my mom nods in confirmation. 

As I raise my eyebrows in shock, I make eye contact with my cousin. With a simple nod across the table, our personal debrief later is confirmed. 

Before we knew it, my cousins and I were turning into las chismosas. Tias that we always teased and wished we’d never turn into. It was inevitable. Whether we liked it or not, we were slowly turning into the chismosa family members that knew everyone’s business. 

But what is chisme and why is it such a popular term in Hispanic culture? 

Chisme is the Spanish translation of the word gossip. No matter the word’s translation, the term and act of it is a universal way of bonding and storytelling among various cultures. Chisme, or gossip, can easily be seen as something negative or taboo. In Hispanic culture, chisme creates a connection, a way to keep people close. 

There’s something relieving about getting things off of your chest and grasping perspectives. Chisme acts as a way of storytelling across Hispanic cultures through retelling events, sharing accomplishments or exaggerating events for effect. Through this process, various emotions can be moved and even changed. Laughter can lighten up the situation. Shock can create bonds. Frustration can be eased with the simple act of sharing. 

Chisme lives in kitchens, parties, salon chairs, restaurant tables and extended phone calls without realizing it. It only requires people to listen, and to share. 

It’s even a part of my early memories. From my grandmother chismiando with the neighbor across the fence to my mom telling me five more minutes until we leave the party, chisme sessions have always been a part of my life. 

I feel that I always find my mom around the house with her phone on speaker as she and her sisters update each other on their lives. Either big or small chisme sessions, my mom is able to feel closer to her sisters that she’s not able to see daily.  

While those phone calls seemed annoying and invasive to me when I was younger, I slowly found my sister and I having those same phone calls after she moved out. I slowly found myself group FaceTiming with my cousins as we shared current family chisme that needed to be immediately discussed. 

I’ve learned to grow the small moments in chisme sessions that I never noticed before. 

The leaning in closer, lowering your voice so others won’t hear, realizing everyone is invested in your story, the shocked facial expressions and quickly scrolling through your phone to pull up the receipts, — it’s an invisible string that ties chisme sessions and bonds together. 

Gossiping with friends, family members and even strangers can feel fulfilling in many different ways. Sometimes you need to share your feelings with the next person who will listen or provide an update to the previous chisme you shared. No matter what side you are on, chisme feeds the soul. 

As my cousins and I grow older and get caught up in our busy schedules, the sit-down chats we have to update each other on with our families and personal lives are dates I look forward to. It’s the connection of being heard through your accomplishments and frustrations to feeling understood as we bond over the annoyance our mothers brought us. 

Chisme creates a community, even if we don’t recognize it at first. 

Chisme doesn’t always have to be a negative thing where you are judged on what you wore to last weekend’s party or what relative you didn’t greet. It can be a way to keep up with each other’s lives. We hear who started a new job, who graduated college, who is no longer in a relationship and who’s struggling but is not asking for help. 

In many Hispanic cultures, it’s common to isolate your feelings. Chisme can act as an indirect outlet for this. It allows various people to express their shock, concern, judgment, admiration or fear through different retellings. 

As my cousins and I have accepted ourselves into becoming the new generation of las tias chismosas, we wear it with pride while also adding our own changes to it. 

We take in different boundaries and don’t comment on certain stories. Through our privilege of higher education, we understand others’ perspectives instead of immediately judging their actions. While chisme sessions are always a fun time, we also approach others’ actions with an open mind.  

But we also see glimpses of our mothers in these chisme sessions — the loud laughters, the pan and cafe adjacent, the dramatic gasps and jaw drops. 

In the end, it’s not just words that matter. It’s the way they bring us closer, one story at a time. Long after the details fade, what remains are the connections built while telling them. Maybe that’s what feeds the soul, the knowing that someone is out there listening to you.

Header Image by Noemi Romero