Performed at Fourteen East Live 2026, "Nosalgia".
We’ve all heard these iterations of “they don’t like you” before.
They don’t want to put their eggs in one basket, or they might have different attachment styles that don’t match yours. They’re a Gemini …
The most dreaded: They’re just not that into you.
Everyone hears this, but for Black women, these words have a whole new meaning. For me, it’s been hard to determine if my race has affected the dates that lead to nowhere. A month or two into dating, something eventually leads to it not working out. Then, the person happily gets with someone else, someone with a different race than my own. Holy s—t, do I feel disposable.
There’s this idea seen in film and TV that a Black girl is and always will be the temporary love interest, especially if the main character is white. She’s usually in the beginning or near the end, but we all know which love interest the character will choose — the blonde, blue-eyed damsel that sweeps others away.
It’s a subconscious thought that if a Black woman is incorporated into the story, she won’t be there for long.
And if the Black woman is the love interest that’s chosen, major backlash is expected from the fandom.
Exhibit A: You (2018-2025)
This infamous Netflix show is about love turning into a deadly obsession. In season one, Joe, the main character, is obsessed with one of the first women we meet, Guinevere Beck. At a certain point their relationship is paused and we are introduced to a Black woman named Karen … if you remember her. Karen and Joe’s fling is very short-lived, maybe two episodes, before Joe goes back to stalking Beck. While Karen avoided being brutally murdered, this is the classic disposable trope. We never hear about her again, making her only purpose bringing Joe and Beck closer.
Exhibit B: Austin and Ally (2011-2016)
This classic Disney Channel show follows a group of talented teens and the two main characters’ journeys to becoming pop stars. The main characters, Austin and Ally, have a “will they, won’t they” dynamic. In season two and a brief appearance in season three, Kira is brought into the mix when Austin realizes he has a crush on her, while also trying to prove that he doesn’t like his best friend, Ally. After two or three dates, and one episode really highlighting her bad breath, Austin realizes that the person he truly likes is Ally. Kira was disposed of.
Exhibit C: The Walking Dead (2010-2022)
Throughout the series, main characters Rick Grimes and Michonne also had a “will they, won’t they” buildup for a long time, resulting in them actually getting together and staying together! In a spin-off series, they have kids and are happily in a relationship. This has a positive ending for a Black girl, but the The Walking Dead fandom did not think that this was the right choice. Reddit users were confused about their dynamic. Twitter paired Rick with other white women instead. People were not happy. Michonne didn’t fit the expectation.
It’s hard to watch this trope in action and not question what a perfect relationship should look like. What the “endgame” relationship is and how I fit into it. If I fit into it.
I’m in fifth grade all over again, turning off the TV before bed, sulking to the bathroom and staring in the mirror. I did not look like the women that have a fairytale ending with the love of their life. I’m not blonde, and I am very far from having fair skin and blue eyes. Little me struggled with this idea, often trying to look and act a certain way to attract the right person. I would get frustrated at my curly hair for being too bold and too frizzy, damaging my hair with a straightener. I chose makeup that was way too bright for my skin tone, trying to assimilate myself into a beauty standard without realizing. A beauty standard I saw all the time but wasn’t meant for me. A beauty standard that had the most success in finding love. I yearned for a beautiful Black woman to be the star of the show, attracting men and women left and right. I wanted them to be the end goal.
Now that I’m older, I’m seeing more and more of that. Little me is finally getting what she wanted.
Lo and behold:
The Drama (2026). Robert Pattinson and Zendaya in an interracial marriage, despite the crazy plot trying to tear them apart.
Mickey 17 (2025). Another film that has a Black woman as a white man’s main love interest. Robert being in both is a total coincidence, I think?
Challengers (2024). Two white men obsessed with a successful Black girl? COUNT ME IN! Also Zendaya again, another coincidence, but not complaining.
Representation like this is so important for young girls to see, to slowly but surely break this trope.
I do want to mention shows like Martin, Abbott Elementary and Insecure that relish in Black love. I love to see it, and I want more. But I want to call out both modern and older shows and movies that need to leave this trope out of the storyline completely. It’s harmful to young Black girls and their self image, it was harmful to me, and I’m just now trying to break out of that mindset at 22.
Am I happy to see Black women on screen at all? Absolutely!
But if the writing calls for the Black female character to be discarded and used as a token of diversity, count me out.
Header Image by Nayshalie Spinks
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