palatable agony
The flames burn so bright at nineteen
and i’ll spend my days wondering
Where I’ll be at twenty-seven
Will I still have the youthful flames
Or will I be floundering
in the sea of rejection
But I am the one to blame
as the pool is the spark to my flames

I craft melodic metaphors
To profit off the scars
hidden in plain sight
Attention is only given seeing broken petals
Pretty roses were never my right

What happens when I’m out of things to say
What happens when I’m not given the time of day
Maybe it is better after all to burn out

I’m tired of trying to race against time
trying to take back
the youth that was never mine
And I’m tired of getting sucked into
These fly traps of self doubt
I’d rather burn out
I’d rather burn out
Than fade away

What is the point of my pain
If it’s not sensationalized for your gain
You’re always bearing the fruits of my labor
And I, the cornucopia
stuffed with palatable agony
All I get to be is a beautiful tragedy
Pain turned into party favors

What happens when I’m out of things to say
What happens when I’m not given the time of day
Maybe it is better after all to burn out

And I’m tired of trying to race against time
trying to take back
the youth that was never mine
And I’m tired of getting sucked into

These fly traps of self doubt
I’d rather burn out
Oh, I’d rather burn out than fade away
Is this what you want?
For me to light myself on fire for your pleasure?
Is this what you want?
To see me crack under your pressure
Cracking open the stone
of the body you wanted to see burn,
You think I am Lazarus
thinking I’ll always bounce back unsevered
Is this what you want?

What happens when I’m out of things to say
What happens when I’m not given the time of day
Maybe it is better after all to burn out
Than to fade away

I’m tired of trying to race against time
trying to take back the youth that was never mine
And I’m tired of getting sucked into
These fly traps of self doubt
I’d rather burn out
I’d rather burn out than fade away

Header by Sophia Johnson